WOW I can't believe it has been almost a year since my last entry! Life certainly tends to get you carried away quickly.
I have been thinking alot about this blog today. I am more grateful for this platform than any other.
Recently I have been making some waves on this topic in some other social media platforms. Doing this blog and posting it to facebook has always gone so well. I have had some negative comments but overall this has been a really healthy and positive outcome for me. I think it is safe to say I assumed (You know what they say about assuming right?) that I would get the same reactions on other platforms of social media as I have with this one....
HA!
Boy did I get let down quickly.
*TRIGGER WARNING*
Guys people can be super awful! It got ugly enough for me to delete the post AND the media platform! Woah was I apparently not prepared for that. These comments PROVE that rape culture exists. I want to respond to those comments on here. I know those people will never see that, but if one person has those things to say, so does another...so maybe that will help. And I need this. So maybe this post is more for selfish reasons, but that is okay in my book.
"Just give consent, then you will never get raped"
You, sir, are so smart!! I had never thought of that! *In case you did not know that was sarcasm* Okay but in all reality that is a MUCH worse way to live! Saying the word 'yes' does not automatically make your brain change how you feel. That would be super cool if that was the case though! I would hate the whole situation I went through so much more if I didn't use my voice. Because I KNOW I did what I could in that moment. I KNOW that I don't have to carry the burden of that day becuase I had no say in it. Guess what? If I said yes, I still wouldn't have wanted it, and my attacker still would have done what he did...with me not it. Now this is on him. He will have to answer for what he has done because he chose not to be a decent human being and listen. Saying yes, sir, is the wrong answer. I should not have to say yes just because it is something ONE person wanted when there were two of us involved.
"Duh if you say no, then they don't have concent legally and can't rape you"
This didn't make me angry it just made me dumbfounded. Idk if this person was trying to be funny or if this is what they genuinely believe. If you say no, correct, legally they don't have concent BUT THEY STILL CAN CHOOSE TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT TO YOU! I said no SO many times and what did it do? Nothing. I wish that people would take no for what it is and just stop in any situration. It is a very selfish thing to do something even though someone else has asked you not to.
"LMAO she was my victim" then someone responded to THAT comment "Thank you for your service" and another responded with praising hands and said "Get it however you can bro" (each of these comments had dozens of 'likes')
LITERALLY the ONLY thing I can say to this is I HOPE and PRAY that this person does not have a sister or daughter that will be the ONE in SIX women who are raped at least once in their lifetime...
Other comments were:
"Just don't get raped"
"The dude would have been better to drink bleach rather than have sex with someone who looks like you"
"LOL just get over it, you're fine"
"People like you who claim this happened to them should do the world a favor and kill themselves now"
If your reactions are the same is mine you have to close your jaw with your hand and smoke might be coming out of your ears. These all came in within 24 hours.
THANKFULLY I am far enough in my healing that this won't set me back...Yep tonight I feel pretty shitty. But I will wake up tomorrow and be okay becuase their lack of humanity and ignorance don't define me, my life, my experiences, or what I think about myself. I hope they learn about rape culture and can change their thinking. I hope they don't have friends who have been assaulted that read their snide comments. I hope that they are good people and doing these things to get a rise out of someone. They won't get it from me because I am above that.
This is proof that we need to be talking. We need to be teaching and we need to be standing up against seaxual assault.
I know this was a weird post, but believe it or not I REALLY needed to do this and I feel better than I did when I started writing.
PLEASE think before you say things in situations like this.
PLEASE think before you judge or make light of someones experiences.
PLEASE think before you joke about abuse/assult/rape.
PLEASE be kind to one another.
This world has enough contagious hate and anger. Choose to spread something better and leave a mark on the world worth remembering.
My heart goes out to any survivors who have had these kinds of comments before. I know for me to just now see stuff like this, that I am super blessed becuase not everyone had it as good as me with the supports I did.
Reach out to me if you need to talk.
Remember you are strong,
You have worth.
You can do this.
You are loved.
KEEP FIGHTING
