Insecurity

Sorry it has been a while since my last post. It has been a couple of crazy weeks! This post is going to be pretty short because I have a really good post coming up in the next week by none other than my wonderful HUSBAND! I am really really excited about his post so stay tuned!

This past week someone had said something to me (in no harm) that I have been thinking so much about. They said:

 "How come people who are raped have so many insecurities? If it is't your fault like you claim then you have nothing to be insecure about and it's silly to be so insecure about so many different things". 

At first I was really confused because I thought it was true and my whole healing process had been done wrong even though I KNOW there isn't a right or wrong way to do it. Then I realized no, that statement is so wrong!

Rape is not just something that happens to you and then it's all done and over with. Rape takes your power...power to say no, power to have control over your mind and your body, power to trust, power to love. It takes your confidence in yourself and in life. It takes away your hope and it TAKES AWAY YOUR SECURITY! 

So I asked myself, if it takes all of that what does that leave you with initially? Pain, and insecurity. The definition of insecurity is "1) uncertainty or anxiety about oneself or a lack of confidence and 2) The state of being open to danger or threat or the lack of protection." Any survivor of rape or a sexual assault knows that is exactly how you leave your attacker feeling. Feeling that way sucks, and there are so many other emotions we would rather have and feel, but, feeling that way is okay! You went through something horrible and tremendously life altering (no matter how long ago or how recent) and it shocks your entire way of life. It sets everything back a step. You are allowed to feel insecure and vulnerable and you are allowed to feel unprotected and not confident. Your voice and your sense of security was taken from you, and it is so hard to get back. I don't think there is anything wrong with accepting that. So to the person I had that conversation with, my response to you is, yes, being a rape survivor does come with insecurities and yes I am allowed to be insecure. It's not silly to be insecure over something that rocked my life and made me question my existence as a human being. 

What isn't allowed is to stay insecure! 

I absolutely LOVE this! Before you were taken advantage of you had a beauty that you were born with and a beauty that no one else was born with. Your individuality and your beauty is something that only you have and when that diminishes no one else can replace it. Its a long road and the road is paved with so many hurdles and struggles and a really tough fight. But this is just one piece of the pie that one day you WILL get back. Its a daily effort but don't let people ever make you think that you are not still a beautiful person inside and out!!